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Project: table cover
The summer is winding to a close and a number of home projects have gotten done, mostly by me throwing money at the problem. Among the major ones has been getting the driveway pulled out and redone, painting my workroom, installing a new house fan to replace the one that broke over ten years ago, and getting our electrical panel fixed. We still have new can lights to install, start researching kitchen remodel companies, and getting our back fence fixed. But among those tasks has been a number of little projects that have been hanging over my head. Nothing that is critical to get done, but still have been nagging…
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Anxiety
Many of you who know me in real life know that I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I’ve had it all my life, but thankfully it didn’t fully manifest until my mid twenties. For the past decades I have managed with help from several therapists, and understanding husband and family. Up through late 2015, possibly 2016, I could have described it as “well managed” because it was. I took the skills I learned from those sessions, understood what was happening to me, and was able to “ride through.” With lots of work I was able to understand my triggers and be able to apply appropriate techniques to manage the episodes.…
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Bored
It’s take over fifty days, but I am finally, gloriously, bored. Waiting for the Ferry James Tissot, 1878 For the past several hours, I have been wandering about the house mildly irritated with myself for not being able to make a decision about what to do next. Since childhood, I have always been able to find something to do. But in recent years, and by that I mean the past decade – more likely two, those moments of boredom have been wisps that float by, insubstantial and fleeting. Symphony in White no 2. James Whistler, 1864 I have this pathologically strong urge to not waste time, ever, for any reason.…
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Another Challenge
I am glad that I have had a bit of extra time because of this self-quarantine. One of the things I have room for is more baking, particularly challenging baking that takes time or energy. This time I’ve chosen to attempt croissants. I love this pastry, and if the history is correct the are a French adaptation of an Austrian dessert. I’ve read the instructions many times and the have always felt to be a bit fussy and particular. I’ve chosen to follow this video, mostly because it seemed simpler than most I have seen. Also, it required the least amount of ingredients. I am finding that pantry staples are…
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Maintenance
So in anticipation of my pasta roller attachment arriving this coming week, I decided that it may be time to clean my mixer. There’s caked in flour in the cracks, the tilt lock doesn’t fully work, and at times it sounds like it’s running rough. Procrastination searching for a while helped me figure out a few things. This video helped me fix the tilt lock in a few minutes. Easy win! But it still needed some work. More videos later (One, Two) and this site, told me I didn’t have the materials to regrease the gears now. But there was one video that showed me that I can deep clean…
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Accomplishment
In the midst of an current pandemic, I am happily ensconced in my home, surrounded with dogs and navigating working remotely. The past weeks have been stressful, so much so that I had the worst anxiety attack that I’ve had in years, amid a conference, and during the discovery that I can’t actually tolerate high altitude — at all. Thank you to all of you who checked up on me for the past week or so. So, this pandemic has been the best thing to happen to me, but for all the wrong reasons. For the next several weeks, I don’t have a four hour commute; I don’t have to…
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I’m here
It’s been a minute since I posted here. I hadn’t actually realized it had been so long. As I round out 2018 and consider that my last post was in December of 2016, I understand what happened. 2017 was catastrophic. Around the time of the last post, I was still reeling from the election, completely unmoored by the discovery that a portion of the population was massively disconnected from the common good. Shortly after, it was discovered that my mother’s winter illness was not actually her typical seasonal, breathing challenges, but actually an aggressive form of leukemia. This would lead to her steep decline and eventual death early in 2017.…
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Faculty Retreat 2016
Today was the second day of our faculty retreat. The retreat committee believes we met our goals. Based on feedback from the previous retreat some years ago, we wanted to avoid passive, boring panels of speakers or brainstorming sessions that don’t result any actionable outcomes. The day one theme was outward focusing (toward our user population, resources and services) and today was inward focusing (on support specifically for us to get our work done). There was a mix of talks and breakout sessions. We encouraged tangible next steps and skill building. We even had a bit of fun in mixing up groups in between activities. There was plenty of food…
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Oasis
Today my oasis was Lake Michigan. For thirty minutes, all I did was absorb the colors of the water and sky. Cerulean, charcoal, slate, gunmetal. In the midst of conference, politial, work, and family chaos, I had a small amount of uninterrupted peace. I didn’t think. I just watched the water touch the sky. For thirty minutes I had perfect neutrality. No conversation. Neither hot or cold. No pressure to complete any task. I couldn’t even tell you if I was breathing. I paid no attention to time. I felt as if I was in stasis. I didn’t fidget. I wasn’t bored, nor was I interested. Within this tiny oasis,…
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Time
I’m supposed to be thinking about time more. In my previous life on the bench, my daily life was dictated by my timer. Some days were scheduled almost down to the second, assays and tasks lined up one after another. But when I left that, I left a lot of my schedule behind. I find that I still need that structure. I tend to not pay attention to time at all. I constantly over or under estimate how long something will need to take. The tasks I have now don’t come with protocols or instruction sheets with the timing outlined. To add to the problem, there are fewer clocks in…
