The edge of comparison

I find myself frustrated. I am becoming dissatisfied with my life again. I was calm and a little more centered after reading Cameron, but that has faded. I have identified it a little earlier than usual this time. Because I am tired, comparison becomes easier than work. I want to have an amazing life, full of quirks and opportunity. From the inside it looks like work and drudgery. But it looks that way because I have compared it to other lives.

I have not focused on the things that I have done. Nor have I been gentle with myself. I have bought into the culture of scarcity that says because they have theirs, I can’t have mine. There is a better than average chance that that idea isn’t true.

And so, I have meditated “good enough” on the train home. I will go to my appointment, then go home. I’ll spend some time completing another Cameron exercise and get ready for work. I will write some more on private pages. That will be the end of my day.