Death part 1

I don’t write about death often enough. There is an eminent death coming in the family, which is why I think of it today. The event that started it was inoccuous enough, a blow to the head. I’m not sure if it was a stumble or the push from an over enthusiastic dog.  But the end result is intracranial bleeding, the ICU, rapid decline, and a DNR order.

I am removed from this person but my husband is not. This circumstance makes my job easier–I become the facilitator. I can get things done to allow him to have space. I spent the day clearing our schedule for the weekend, and my schedule for work next week. And now we wait.

The information we have is scanty, certainly not as complete that I would like. I assume some family are present and making decisions, but some aren’t that could be and it is a mystery. There is a schism in the family, something developed not that long ago. I’m sure it is affecting the choices; there will be fallout. I don’t care. But it influences what I can do to take care of my own family.

Ultimately, I am a bystander in this. I am going home early. I have work in my bag and enough things to do to pass the time no matter where I am. We will do all the usual things when the time comes: cry, tell stories, eat, sleep restlessly, huddle together in our own little group. And then as some point, we will do it all again for someone else.