Day in review July 29, 2015
We are finally into the heat of summer. I am sitting on my final train grateful that it is air conditioned. Biking to work has been easy simply because I get a breeze.
Workouts have been erratic. I had headaches that kept me home from work and doctors appointments that have kept me home other days. I’m just getting back into it. I bought a knee brace with the intention to try running again. And I have an ankle cuff that will allow me to use the weight tower instead of the machines for my inner/outer legs. This mornings workout, the first with the ankle cuff, is probably the reason why my knees hurt, that and the two hours I spent on my feet teaching.
Work has been progressing. I have a number of things on the back burner that aren’t making it to the front burner, but need to. I have NCBI workshops to create, a article to write about my experience at NIH/NLM, orientations to get scheduled, three research projects going, and an perspective piece to write before I get out of the loop.
At home I am about to embark on the ultra purge my home project. I want to indulge this urge, but I am putting it off because there are other smaller projects that need to get completed while the weather is still good. This weekend Child 1 goes back to school, which changes the family dynamic. Tonight I want to get the eye pillow casings ready for filling. It should be fairly straight forward.
In all of this, I haven’t lost sight of my mental health. I have not been able to set myself on solid ground regarding the spinning plates feeling. I have been looking for yoga studios to attend random classes in the coming months and reading a lot about yoga, meditation, and other similar topics. I feel like there is so much that I could have a handle on, but everything isn’t graspable. It just slips through my hands. But I did relisten to a TED talk yesterday about happiness. And while I don’t have a sudden shift about happiness and my general outlook. The message that stuck with me this time is I don’t get to control the outcome.
This is important for me because so much of what I do is trying to do things well so that I can get the outcome I want. We all have enough experience to understand that while we think we can predict and control outcomes, we really can’t. The marketing and business of the world, in any industry, have convinced us that this is possible (as long as their product is involved!). But this talk was a good reminder to take with me as I worked out this morning, and when I taught, and when it was my turn to monitor the reference lines.
And so I will head home, with a tiny list of what I need to do tomorrow. And I will meditate on the idea that I can’t control the outcome. The more I accept that, the more I will be at peace.