Yesterday was day one of UIC faculty striking to get a contract. This is the first I’ve ever felt secure enough to participate in. The specific issues can be found at https://uicunitedfaculty.org/. We are moving into an era of common good bargaining that deserves more time later. For now, many of us have will be facing situations that require collective action in one form or another in order to get the support that we need to live our lives and do our work. Strikes are a part of that. While I am very new to this arena, I am noticing similarities in this activity to others. One of my two…

If I were to write a story, and someday I may, what are all the delights that I would want within? It would have to have animals. Mysterious, dark ravens or other corvidae. Wolves as friends or foes. I like the ideas of bees as they were used in The Starless Sea, industrious and inquisitive. Foxes as either trickster or guide. Observing but silent mice. It would have to have magic, probably the vague and ill defined kind. There would be seers and rituals and prophecy. Omens and portents, cryptic pieces of folklore in hidden places. Superstition. The mysteries and lore and rituals would wind themselves around herbs and parchments,…

This transition to deep midlife Brene Brown has called “unraveling.” It’s an apt description. I’m doing a lot of deliberate mental and emotional work. I’m only starting to see now how much work OS still ahead of me. A few books that have opened that path. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Clarified the difference between guilt and shame and gave me questions that allow me to examine these in my own life. The Joy Diet by Martha Beck. I only read this recently, but it outlines steps to find joy in everyday living. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. This reminded me the exact scope of the responsibities of my life…

Many of you who know me in real life know that I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I’ve had it all my life, but thankfully it didn’t fully manifest until my mid twenties. For the past decades I have managed with help from several therapists, and understanding husband and family. Up through late 2015, possibly 2016, I could have described it as “well managed” because it was. I took the skills I learned from those sessions, understood what was happening to me, and was able to “ride through.” With lots of work I was able to understand my triggers and be able to apply appropriate techniques to manage the episodes.…

It’s take over fifty days, but I am finally, gloriously, bored. Waiting for the Ferry James Tissot, 1878 For the past several hours, I have been wandering about the house mildly irritated with myself for not being able to make a decision about what to do next. Since childhood, I have always been able to find something to do. But in recent years, and by that I mean the past decade – more likely two, those moments of boredom have been wisps that float by, insubstantial and fleeting. Symphony in White no 2. James Whistler, 1864 I have this pathologically strong urge to not waste time, ever, for any reason.…