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Headaches
Blistering headache to end the workday. The bitter chill of the bike ride to the train station did it. I was optomistic that the sun and building body heat would keep it from happening, but no. There is a steady breeze directly into my ears and I’m done for. I’ve been doing strange stretches on the train to ease my neck. I’ve taken off my glasses because they have been pushing on my right ear and creating some pain. They are sitting on the seat next to me and I’m hoping that a sudden stop doesn’t fling them somewhere. I’m cautious about looking too far down in order to see…
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Moodiness and self care
I wish I had an explanation for my mood today. General moodiness started to creep in last night and has settled in for a bit. The feeling is a combination of ennui and dissatisfaction. I look at my life and I find it lacking. There is no joy, only a grouchiness at the world around me stemming from a vague sense of unfairness and inequality. My personal demons are rampaging as well. I’m getting fatter. I’m not a patient parent. I am losing the ability to be nice to children and small animals. Not good. I used to be a more optomistic person. I didn’t suffer from these bouts of…
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Reprogramming
I am thinking that I need to reprogram my brain. I have spent too much time dwelling on issues, and interpreting circumstances negatively. That habit means that most of the time, I walk through my day expecting and looking for its events to disappoint me. And surprise! They do and the experience becomes a giant self-fulfilling prophecy. As an example, I found myself ruminating about an interaction my husband and I had yesterday. I had seen one of the Equinox yoga videos (this one), and during our evening bath, I shared what I thought about it. What I experienced was watching a very fit, strong, and talented woman going through…
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End of a week
Friday is the Hallelujah it’s over day. The day I look forward to these days. While I love the direction my life is going, the time committment to it is staggering. I am ever edging closer to needing to either get a better handle on time management or acquiesce to working off the clock. I am resisting the latter with every ounce of my being. Time is the ever elusive thing that I am chasing. I never have enough of it. I have endless things to fill it with. Tonight I will do none of those things. I will pick up dinner on the way home and a gallon of…
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Work clarity
I don’t to talk about work, but that is the only thing that my brain wants to do right now, so I will work with it. I’m half way through a busy work week and I have a lot to get done before it is over. One of the meetings that I had gone to was a special faculty meeting that was to discuss the changes in promotion and tenure form and to outline the current, elected committes available to run. The first applies to me, the second doesn’t. What I got out of the meeting was the clarification on what I was to be evaluated on during my next…