• Health

    Health initiative

    Last weekend I finally made it into the dietician, a task three months delayed for administrative reasons. The session was surprisingly predictable: she had my lab report, we discussed my typical diet/activity, I had a list of questions. The upshot of the visit was that my intake is too high in fat and carbs, my calorie load is too high. We discussed the changes I needed to make and the first steps I was going to have to do. We addressed my complete unwillingness to count calories, because I’ve tried and it doesn’t work and I quit. We discussed my need to have continual support for a while. There wasn’t…

  • Mental Maintenance,  Personal Thoughts

    The edge of comparison

    I find myself frustrated. I am becoming dissatisfied with my life again. I was calm and a little more centered after reading Cameron, but that has faded. I have identified it a little earlier than usual this time. Because I am tired, comparison becomes easier than work. I want to have an amazing life, full of quirks and opportunity. From the inside it looks like work and drudgery. But it looks that way because I have compared it to other lives. I have not focused on the things that I have done. Nor have I been gentle with myself. I have bought into the culture of scarcity that says because…

  • learning,  Mental Maintenance,  Uncategorized

    Gentleness

    One of the things that I have gained by reading a book on creativity is the idea of being gentle. Yesterday I wrote of the larger picture of creativity. Inevitably, there comes a period where creativity is absent.  I like that she puts these periods as droughts rather than blocks. She goes on to explain that crativity exists in cycles and with gentle action, the cycle will progress and work can begin again. I had a hard time identifying with this at first because I don’t consider myself a working artist. Even as a hobbist, another label I don’t quite attach to, I am not producing art and I have…