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Moodiness and self care
I wish I had an explanation for my mood today. General moodiness started to creep in last night and has settled in for a bit. The feeling is a combination of ennui and dissatisfaction. I look at my life and I find it lacking. There is no joy, only a grouchiness at the world around me stemming from a vague sense of unfairness and inequality. My personal demons are rampaging as well. I’m getting fatter. I’m not a patient parent. I am losing the ability to be nice to children and small animals. Not good. I used to be a more optomistic person. I didn’t suffer from these bouts of…
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Health and wellness
I turned forty one a few weeks ago. I marked the occasion by going to a conference in Milwaukee and pretty much telling no one it was my birthday. I celebrated with family, of course, but that was it. Today I was discussing work and life with a colleague. I had been complaining that my headache made me completely unproductive today and I was frustrated about it. The past few weeks, and if I’m honest –few months, have been a challenge. I have had severe headaches and my right shoulder has become chronically sore. I’m not used to chronic anything. I get sick (if I do) and then get well.…
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It’s Fall
This morning if finaly felt that fall had arrived. I have been wearing my fall/spring coat for a few weeks and the sun has been getting up dangerously late; but I didn’t feel that it was here until I parked at the train station this morning. The combination of cool air, heavy dew, a slight, low fog, and the dusting of yellow leaves that were starting to accumulate at the curbs brought on the hope that I feel every fall. And it is hope. I’ve been in academia for so long that any give year feels like it has two beginnings: one in January with the start of the calendar,…
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In a flash
The end of another day. These few weeks, starting back in mid August have been a gauntlet of things professional and personal, with only the shortest of breaks in between. Earlier this week I had wondered if I was getting enough done at work. And instead I have had not only the scheduled work for myself, but a couple of fill-in consults for colleagues at the last minute. Today was one such day. But I’m grateful to have the work and, personally, I am insisting on still going little camping trip breather. Restorative only to a degree, because it will be too short and it will condense the time that…
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2014 and not trying
Well it’s here. My sister is already convinced that it sucks after only five days. I am a little more reserved. I usually enjoy the beginning of a new year for all the typical reasons: “resolutions”, a fresh start, hibernating in the midst of our calendar gauntlet. This year I am more reserved. I am cautious about this year. I am not spending a large amount of time reflecting and setting goals. I’m already sick of the “X ways to trim body fat-eat organic-organize my whole life-get better at everything” mantra that revs up this time of year. It’s getting almost as bad as the over-commercialized HallowThanksMas. I can’t quite…