Health

I just took off several days from work. I spent part of it going in for a medical procedure (elective and outpatient) and then spend some recovering. I also had a regular physical to get that up do date and discuss tweaking treatment for my headaches. We reclassified them as migranes and are working with different medication. I brought the data that I had tracked. It helped define things and make decisions. I was glad I tracked it and I seemed to cover the right things.

One of the interesting things uncovered was that I don’t take the medication as often as I probably should. If I am only experiencing pressure, I take it about 50% of the time. Also the location is always at the top of my head but half the time in my sinus area. The most common possible correlation was with sleep disturbances and with menstrual. The second common pairing was stress, weather, and neck ache.

During all this discussion of headache therapy I brought up the desire to go back to a psychologist and see what could be done from that angle. I had an inadvertant conversation with a coworker who has parallel issues. We both have a horrible case of monkey brain. Mine is certainly becoming uncontrollable. But I did realize on the way to work that I have been listening to what my brain has been telling me. And to some degree I blame what it is saying on my husband. This is because is it his negative attitude that I have adopted. I don’t know why. Sometimes it makes me wish he had traits that he doesn’t have. Fighting against it is exhausting. Just fighting to exist in the same house with it is.

But ultimately it’s my responsibility and I need to self protect. I just don’t know how to do this without cutting everyone off in my life. I already feel alone enough. I’m hoping therapy will help me get redirected in a healthy way.